Teresait Sounds Like You
TeresaIt sounds like you have a good plan in place. I think that it would be very hard to break this news over the phone. When you are face to face they can see that you are the same as before and that you are handling it. But they need to be told before your surgery. You just need to assure your dad that each cancer is different and although he lost his wife it doesn’t mean the same about you. Let him and your mom know that you will update them regularly on your progress and that emphasis that they did a good job raising you and that with all they have instilled in you, you will be fine. As far as the feelings you have about being “the one causing all the pain and stress” that’s not true. Cancer is the culprit. It is the one cause pain, stress etc. Never, never feel that you are anything but a survivor. This is painful for you and will be for them but you will get through it and so will your family. As much as you are concerned for your mom and dad, you do need to focus on what is good for you. Stress for you is not good. So tell them as gently as possible, advise them both to use their pastors, their churches, their friends for support and then keep them in the loop. This could be phone calls, letters, emails, whatever works. My prayers are with you during this journey.Stef
What Not To Do
- Dont ignore or neglect a friend or relative who may need to open up and talk with you.
- Dont ignore your own need to talk with someone.
- Dont set up a false front, or a happy face, if you dont really feel that way. While you might tend to try to protect your loved ones by acting as cheerful as possible, it will help you and them more if you share your true feelings.
- feel that theres a perfect way to talk or handle your interactions with others. Youll find that there are times when you feel great about talking and sharing, and other times when you feel that communication is not going very well. Realize that you and others are doing the best you can most of the time. And thats good enough.
What Do Lumps In My Breast Mean
Many conditions can cause lumps in the breast, including cancer. But most breast lumps are caused by other medical conditions. The two most common causes of breast lumps are fibrocystic breast condition and cysts. Fibrocystic condition causes noncancerous changes in the breast that can make them lumpy, tender, and sore. Cysts are small fluid-filled sacs that can develop in the breast.
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Delegate Spreading The News
The thought of breaking the news to extended family and friends can feel overwhelming and emotional. If you choose to break the news to your close family, consider appointing one or two family members to spread the news to others.;
To make this process easier, consider starting a CaringBridge site. While constant questions about a health journey show that family and friends care, answering them and sharing health news over and over is exhausting. Take this task off of your plate with CaringBridge, an easy-to-use and free online Journal for sharing health messages with loved onesall in one place.
Talking To Children And Teenagers
A cancer diagnosis can affect an entire family. Children and teenagers may experience a range of emotions, from fear and guilt to loneliness and isolation. Trying to talk openly about your cancer can really help.
What should I tell my children?
How much you tell them will depend on their age and level of maturity. Very young children do not understand illness and need a simple reason why their parent or friend is sick and has to go to hospital regularly. Most children over 10 years;can take in fairly full explanations.
Its good to talk about cancer before an obvious change occurs, for example before hair falls out due to treatment.
Reassure them that your illness is not their fault. Even if they dont show it, children may feel that they are somehow to blame.
Why its best for you to tell your children
Its hard to keep cancer a secret, especially if someone in the family home is affected. Even very young children can detect changes in family life, such as tension, unusual comings and goings and changes in physical appearance.
If you talk about cancer to them, they will get accurate information and have the chance to ask any questions and share how theyre feeling. ;This is better than them finding out the truth from someone else or overhearing a private conversation at home or at school, especially as children can worry that the situation is far worse than;it really is.
If you find it hard, you could ask a nurse at the hospital for support and advice on what to say.;
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Welcome And I Am Sorry That
Welcome and I am sorry that you have bc. I had a hard time telling anyone outside of my husband, as, I would just break down. But, I knew I had to tell the rest of my family, my friends and my coworkers. Your parents would want to know. Why would they not? You are their child. They want to know and help you in anyway possible. Good luck.
Leeza
Telling Friends That You Have Cancer
Again, when talking to your friends about your diagnosis, be candid and honest. Sure, you can pick and choose what details you would like to share. But remember: These are the people who are going to be your support system. Being straightforward about your fears and anxieties is essential to getting the support that you need.
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Talking To Your Childrens School About Your Breast Cancer
School is an important part of your childrens life and the teachers and other children can help provide stability and support at a time of change at home. Interacting with your childrens school may feel daunting, but by working with the school youll enable staff to plan and provide the help and support youd prefer.
Talking To Your Family And Friends About Breast Cancer
Breaking the news that youve been diagnosed with breast cancer can be just as difficult as first hearing that news from your doctor. You may feel concerned about upsetting your family and friends or worried about how they will react. Even after you have shared the news, at times you may find it difficult to communicate openly. Sometimes its uncomfortable to ask for help, answer questions about how youre doing, or tell well-meaning relatives and friends that you need some time and space for yourself.
This section offers some tips for talking about breast cancer with your family and friends. Naturally, the conversation is likely to change whether you are talking with a close relative or acquaintance, an adult or a child. The most important thing to keep in mind is that you are the one who guides the conversation and decides how much information you do or do not wish to share. The content and the tone are entirely up to you.
This section includes tips for:
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How Should I Tell Others About My Breast Cancer
Who you tell and how you tell them is a very personal decision. You may only want to tell a few people, or ask others to help you pass the information on. Having an informed family member or friend with you can give you some support when letting others know.
It can be helpful to start with the basic facts about your diagnosis and treatment options, and let the conversation progress naturally from there. You may not want to give detailed information or you may not know much yourself yet. If you dont want to or cant go into a lot of detail at first, you could give people some written information. We have lots of booklets and leaflets that you can order or direct people to.
You may find it easier to tell people in a letter or email, and then perhaps discuss it with them later. Some people use private groups on social media as they find it easier updating everyone together and not having to repeat themselves to different people.
Make sure you are clear about who they can tell if you dont want everyone to know.
How To Break The News
When and how you tell your loved ones is up to you. Many people choose to tell their partner or spouse first, followed by close family members and friends.
You might start off with, This is going to be difficult, but I need to tell you something. Or, if they know youve had tests, you could say that your doctor has found out whats wrong.;
If you dont want to give the news in person, you can tell others over the phone, video chat, email, text, or social media. Think about what youre going to say in advance and how youll respond to the reactions and questions they may have, Brown says.
Try not to pressure yourself to put on a happy or 100% confident face. Its OK to be honest about how you feel.
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How To Explain Your Cancer Diagnosis To Loved Ones
Telling friends and family that you have been diagnosed with cancer is not an easy task. Not only do you have to deal with the new emotions that you are feeling, but you also have to cope with the reaction of the person you are telling. This can result in added stress, which can increase your own fears and anxiety about cancer. This guide can help ease you through the process.;
Children Might Worry Cancer Is Contagious
Children may also worry that cancer is contagious and they can catch it, or that everyone dies from it, or that the other parent will get it, too. Its a good idea to correct these ideas before the child has a chance to worry. Kids can become confused about how people get sick. A common worry is that cancer can be passed from one person to another, like a cold. Parents can explain that cancer is a different kind of illness and the child doesnt have to worry that someone passed it on to Mom or Dad or that they will get it.
Parents should also say that it would be very unusual for the other parent to get sick. They may want to tell their children something like this: Years ago, people often died from cancer because doctors didnt know much about how to treat it. Doctors have learned a lot more about it since then, and there are treatments that can cure many cancers. Now, people can live with cancer instead of dying from it.
So along with the basics about the parents cancer as noted above, be sure to stress these facts:
- No one caused the parent to get cancer.
- You cant catch cancer like a cold or the fluits OK to hug or kiss the person with cancer.
- The family will work together to cope with cancer and its treatment.
- Even though the sick parent may not have as much time with them, the children are loved and will be taken care of while the parent is sick.
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How To Tell Family And Friends
When you are ready, decide who to tell and what to say. And be prepared that the person you are telling may get upset and need comfort even though you are the one with cancer. You may want to:
- choose a quiet place
- think of answers to likely questions
- get help finding the right words you could meet with a hospital social worker or call Cancer Council 13 11 20 for support
How Do I Tell My Family About My Diagnosis
If youve just learned that you have metastatic breast cancer, it can be very upsetting to imagine how youll tell your family. Its completely OK to stop, breathe, and take the time you need before sharing the news. Who you tell and when you tell them is your decision.
When youre ready to talk with your family, its very possible that they may have intense emotional reactions. Since that can increase any stressful feelings you may already have, it can help to choose one close and trusted person to tell first who can be there with you as a support when you share with other family members. Once the people close to you begin to understand and digest whats happening, together you can start to talk openly about ways they can offer support whether its giving emotional support or helping with day-to-day needs.
On this page, we offer guidance on ways to tell partners, children, and parents about your diagnosis. How you share the news will be different depending on the family member.
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Become Impatient Or Angry With You
Similar to the way that you might become angry, those close to you might become angry too. While you are the one most directly affected by the cancer, everyone close to you may go through a rollercoaster of emotions and anger is a common one.; It is important to remind yourself that while your friends and family might seem frustrated, they are angry with the situation not with you. You might have had the same feeling at times.
You may hear, You arent doing the things you used to do. Children, and some adults, can be extremely self-centered. Or they might have moments where they miss the way that your lives used to be. Your social, family, and work roles will change as you begin to focus on treatment and healing and this is hard for everyone. Your energy levels will be low at times and you may not be able to do all that you had been doing. You will adjust more easily if you explain this to those around you and share your reactions to the different changes taking place in all of your lives. Talk to your family about how tasks can still be done even though you wont be able to do all of them yourself.
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Talking To Your Younger Children
When sharing the news with children under age 10, keep things as simple as you can:
- Let them know there is cancer in your body and that doctors will treat it. You can point to the areas of your body or use a doll, or pictures, to communicate with small children.
- Explain to them that the cancer is not contagious and that they cannot catch it from you.
- Very young children may have difficulty understanding that the cancer is not their fault or that your treatment is not punishment for something they did. Reassure them that whats happening has nothing to do with anything they did or thought, and let them know that you love them.
- Tell children how their daily routines may change. For instance, On Tuesdays and Wednesdays, Dad will help you get ready for school.
- Let them know about side effects you may experience, such as hair loss or fatigue. Preparing children ahead of time can reduce any fear or anxiety they may have.
- Schedule regular time to be together and just have fun, whether its watching a funny movie or playing a game.
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Ask A Close Friend To Take Notes
From a family members perspective, it can be shocking to hear about a loved ones health condition. Because of this, important details can often get lost in translation when the words I have cancer are echoing through everyones ears.;
To ensure that everyone stays on the same page, even after the hard conversation is over, ask a close friend to come with you to take notes. Be prepared for questions after the conversation, and know that its okay to say, I dont know.
How To Tell Your Parents
Nothing is more devastating to a parent than learning their child is sick. Telling your parents about your diagnosis may be difficult, but its a necessary conversation to have.
Plan the talk for a time when you know you wont be interrupted. You might want to practice having the discussion ahead of time with your partner or a sibling.
Be clear about how you feel and what you need from your parents. Pause every now and then to confirm that theyre clear on what youve said, and to ask if they have any questions.
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